By Simon Rich
In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon wealthy unearths humor in a few very awesome locations. Armed with a pointy eye for the absurd and an overpowering feel of doom, wealthy explores the ridiculousness of our daily lives. the area, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with unending comedian potential.
–If your female friend offers a few “love coupons” after which breaks up with you, are the coupons nonetheless valid?
–What form of functionality strain does an endangered male panda consider while his captors convey the final final girl panda to his cage?
–If murderers can get into heaven by way of accepting Jesus, simply how awkward is it after they run into their victims?
Join Simon wealthy as he explores the intense and hilarious desperation that is living in traditional lifestyles, from cradle to grave.
"Hilarious." –Jon Stewart
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4, Shawn. 4 useless. —I don’t understand, yet I’ve been advised we’re unlikely domestic for a very long time. ————————————— how collage childrens think the u. s. executive cutting-edge —Did you listen the inside track, Mr. President? the scholars on the college of Pittsfield are jogging out in their periods, in protest of the battle. —(Spits out espresso. ) Wha—What did you are saying? —Apparently, scholars are status up in the course of lectures and strolling correct out of the construction. —But scholars love lectures. If they’re prepared to offer these up, they need to quite be desirous about this peace factor! How did you pay attention approximately this protest? —The White residence hears approximately each protest, regardless of how small. —Oh, correct, I take into accout. —You haven’t heard the half it, Mr. President. The chief of the gang says that should you don’t cease the conflict this present day, they’re going to …to… I’m sorry, I can’t say it out loud. It’s simply too terrifying. —Say it, dammit! I’m the President! —All correct! should you don’t cease the struggle …they’re going to prevent going to college for the rest of the week. —Send the troops domestic. —But, Mr. President! Shouldn’t we discuss this? —Send the troops domestic. THE 60S —Mr. President! Did you listen approximately Woodstock? —Woo—Woodstock? What in God’s identify is that? —Apparently, youth hate the struggle rather a lot they’re keen to take part in a musical intercourse competition in protest of it. —Oh my God. they have to quite be interested by this entire factor. —That’s now not all. a few of them are threatening to affix communes: locations the place they make their very own garments … and beat on drums. —Stop the warfare. —But, Mr. President! —Stop all American wars! —(Sighs. ) rather well, sir. I’ll cross inform the generals. —Wow. It’s a superb factor these young children made up our minds to move listen song. conflict LT. MCDOUGAL: Who between you are going to hold the flag as we march into conflict? ABBOT: i'll! LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? WALTER: Then i'll hoist up the flag and hold it in his position! LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? HAROLD: Then …I wager …I will hold the flag, sir! LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? CHARLES: Then … good … I’ll hold it. LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? JOHN: Then … me? i suppose? I’ll hold it? LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? WELLINGTON: Geez …I bet, then, I’ll hold it. If it involves that. LT. MCDOUGAL: And if this guy is going down? MORTIMER: Sir … what sort of forces are we going up opposed to? I suggest …don’t get me flawed, if Wellington takes a success, I’ll hold the flag— LT. MCDOUGAL: And while this guy is going down? KEARNY: Sir? What do you're thinking that our possibilities are…of profitable this conflict? I’m no longer attempting to get adverse, I’m simply… (Sighs. ) glance, I’ll hold the flag if he is going down. I’m simply commencing to get frightened— LT. MCDOUGAL: And while this guy is going down? BILLINGS: Jesus. Captain, who're we scuffling with? What’s the placement? Please, simply be instantly with us. LT. MCDOUGAL: Who will hold the flag whilst Kearny is going down? BILLINGS: good, i assume me. I suggest, I’d be the one one left … in that situation. LT. MCDOUGAL: okay. It is going Abbot, Walter, Harold, Charles, John, Wellington, Mortimer, Kearny, after which Billings.