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By Gregory Galloway

Adam Strand isn’t depressed. He’s simply bored. Disaffected. So he kills himself—39 occasions. irrespective of the strategy, Adam can’t appear to remain useless; he awakes after each one suicide alive and bodily unhurt, extra made up our minds to be successful and undeterred by means of others’ matters. but if his self-contained, self-absorbed course is diverted, Adam is struck through the truth that lifestyles is an ever-expanding net of effect and cast connections, and that nothing—not even death—can sever these bonds.

In this hyper-edgy coming-of-age tale advised in stark, arresting prose, Alex Award-winning writer Gregory Galloway unearths desire and realizing within the blackest humor.

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There are not any difficulties, no grief, no misery, disgust, no affliction, ache, or unhappiness; there’s no disgrace, disappointment, betrayal, or boredom; not anything is misplaced or won, not anything is wasted or sought after, not anything is expounded or left unsaid, not anything is remembered or recalled or reminded, not anything lingers. not anything is not anything, and every thing is quiet and calm. It’s excellent. might be that’s what heaven is, an ideal not anything, an emptying out of every thing till you're as fresh because the second prior to your first breath, a serene absence of every little thing. perhaps it’s no longer even a spot, yet I’ve been there, traveled there again and again. i do know what it’s like. the area is ideal there. or perhaps you’re excellent and the realm is identical. The river, the bridge, the angel—they have been nearly excellent for me, the 3 of them accumulated there in a holy trinity less than the dam, however the river above the dam, as checked out from the peak of the bluff, was once nearly ideal in addition. The river there, counting on the sunshine, gave the look of a sliver scar scratched into the earth, a path of liquid gold, a filthy skid mark, a snug ditch of dust, and at evening it appeared like a slice of the Milky manner, bring to a halt and fallen from the sky, a flat asphalt highway, a gloomy meditation, a deep abyss staring blankly up earlier the bluff and correct at me. And the bluff used to be lengthy adequate and overgrown adequate you could discover a secluded spot, a personal, undisturbed position clear of every body else, whereas the spot less than the dam was once, if now not well known, at the least renowned and frequented by means of humans i didn't like and didn't wish to be round. a part of me desired to depart all of it by myself, and one other half desired to maintain going again, if basically to maintain others away. The others have been scurves, white trash from the south part of city. They have been led through Troy Liddell, one of many 3 or 4 feared humans in class. He cherished to select fights, and he often gained. He didn’t appear like a lot of a risk: he used to be tall and skinny and goofy-looking with an almost-cartoon element to him. yet he was once no longer cartoonish, he used to be terrifying—a neighborhood terrorist who scared the shit out of such a lot folks with beatings, threats, and a small workforce of scurves who he wanted round, the type who may have hijacked planes if Troy instructed them to. i assumed he gave the impression of a coyote, and he appeared to struggle like one, all skinny palms and elbows, thrashing away with not anything to lose. He could sit down at the hood of a motor vehicle sooner than institution and ask questions as we glided by. “Do you smoke pot? ” if you happen to replied sure, you were given beat up; in case you responded no, you were given an analogous. there has been no rhyme or cause to it, purely Troy’s experience of enjoyable and no matter what mercy he determined to mete out that day or evening. Troy and his following, typically underclassmen who had determined to affix Troy rather than being beat by means of him, cherished to force round and search for difficulty. Troy had an previous van that you simply knew used to be full of scurves watching for a struggle, and he could pass up and down major highway searching for somebody who desired to struggle or didn’t, reckoning on his temper and what kind of he’d needed to drink.

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